That I have no idea what this post is going to be about? Cause I did. The only real thing that's been on my mind would have to be schools. I'm in the process of lining things up to move and start at a new university.
With that comes the whole finding a place of residence, people that don't suck, and orienting ones self with the new environment. Sorry that this is lame. It'll get better <3
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
So I've Been Thinking
No long rant or moral lesson tonight. Just one question.
How do you show someone you love them?
Friday, March 11, 2011
Japan on the Verge of a Nuclear Disaster
No doubt you've heard about the tragedy that's befallen Japan, unless you were busy watching Jersey Shore or Teen Mom 2(admit it, you were). If you haven't heard, Japan was hit with a 8.8 magnitude earthquake early this morning with 7.0 magnitude aftershocks causing 15-30ft waves that crashed into the shores of Japan. Because of this, people are evacuating the coasts and some are even still waiting to be rescued. The tsunami's waves caused a nuclear power plant's power to be knocked out, but the back up generators didn't work, so now the plant is unable to cool its self and people in the surrounding areas are being evacuated from there as well.
But the waves aren't isolated to just Japan. There have been reports of the tsunami's waves traveling at about 500mph towards Hawaii and the western coast of the United States. It's pretty frightening to think about waves moving as fast as a jetliner. People living in low-elevation areas are advised to evacuate until the waves have died down.
I feel it's appropriate to also note that the Red Cross is gathering funds for relief. You can also text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10 to the relief effort. The amount is automatically added to your phone bill. If you can donate, do it. If you can't, spread awareness.
I just hope that you all keep Japan and its people in your thoughts and prayers.
But the waves aren't isolated to just Japan. There have been reports of the tsunami's waves traveling at about 500mph towards Hawaii and the western coast of the United States. It's pretty frightening to think about waves moving as fast as a jetliner. People living in low-elevation areas are advised to evacuate until the waves have died down.
I feel it's appropriate to also note that the Red Cross is gathering funds for relief. You can also text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10 to the relief effort. The amount is automatically added to your phone bill. If you can donate, do it. If you can't, spread awareness.
I just hope that you all keep Japan and its people in your thoughts and prayers.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Define: Character
Here we go, finding a common ground of a word. A definition if you will.
Dictionary.com defines character as "the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing." This was the first definition and the one we're going to be focusing on as well as the fourth "qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity."
Too often these days I hear the slander and rumors spread about people. I've heard them about myself, I've heard them about my best friend, I've probably even heard them about you. In no way am I trying to limit your "freedom of speech," but let's get one thing straight: what is the point? What does that say about you if you're the perpetrator of said bashing? Ask anyone and they'll probably call you two-faced, a liar, a cheat, any number of things. So again, what's the point?
I can understand where some these things come from. You know? A story gets misinterpreted, misunderstood, embellished, and then there's also the wonderful double-standard. But it seems, more often than not, a story is made up and names are called. It comes back to the old adage of "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." And there's a lot of truth to that. What is there to gain from tearing down someone's reputation? Think about it.
Even if you don't like a person, there's no good reason to say, "she's such a slut," or, "I heard blahblahblah." It's a matter of integrity. Gossip just doesn't sound good. It falls under the same category as cheating, but that's a post for another time. All I'm saying is take the high road. Avoid the gossip, it'll do you good. Promise.
Now that we've got that rant out of the way, let's get down to what you and I can do. We have a few options; we can a) avoid it, b) confront the slanderous person, c) tell the person(s) being attacked, or d) do nothing. I wouldn't recommend "d" it doesn't end well. If you take "c" you've got the chance of being found out as an "informant" and the receiver of the info of being hurt... in a really big way. "A" gives you the whole blissful ignorance thing and keeps you out of the "corruption." But "b" is the most noble. Stop the slander in it's tracks. Take up for the person no matter who they are.
What you choose is up to you, but keep in mind: would you want rumors said about you or how do you think the gossip makes them feel? What if they found out it was you, and you said you were their friend?
Dictionary.com defines character as "the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing." This was the first definition and the one we're going to be focusing on as well as the fourth "qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity."
Too often these days I hear the slander and rumors spread about people. I've heard them about myself, I've heard them about my best friend, I've probably even heard them about you. In no way am I trying to limit your "freedom of speech," but let's get one thing straight: what is the point? What does that say about you if you're the perpetrator of said bashing? Ask anyone and they'll probably call you two-faced, a liar, a cheat, any number of things. So again, what's the point?
I can understand where some these things come from. You know? A story gets misinterpreted, misunderstood, embellished, and then there's also the wonderful double-standard. But it seems, more often than not, a story is made up and names are called. It comes back to the old adage of "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." And there's a lot of truth to that. What is there to gain from tearing down someone's reputation? Think about it.
Even if you don't like a person, there's no good reason to say, "she's such a slut," or, "I heard blahblahblah." It's a matter of integrity. Gossip just doesn't sound good. It falls under the same category as cheating, but that's a post for another time. All I'm saying is take the high road. Avoid the gossip, it'll do you good. Promise.
Now that we've got that rant out of the way, let's get down to what you and I can do. We have a few options; we can a) avoid it, b) confront the slanderous person, c) tell the person(s) being attacked, or d) do nothing. I wouldn't recommend "d" it doesn't end well. If you take "c" you've got the chance of being found out as an "informant" and the receiver of the info of being hurt... in a really big way. "A" gives you the whole blissful ignorance thing and keeps you out of the "corruption." But "b" is the most noble. Stop the slander in it's tracks. Take up for the person no matter who they are.
What you choose is up to you, but keep in mind: would you want rumors said about you or how do you think the gossip makes them feel? What if they found out it was you, and you said you were their friend?
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Secrets and You!
I've literally been thinking about secrets all day. Is this a good thing? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that "Secrets" has played about 50 gazillion times today.
What if everyone or even just one person knew your secrets? All the things you've done that you've ever done out of shame, lust, vengeance, the things you aren't proud of, everything. Speaking for myself, I think whoever knew would be very, very shocked. I've done stuff that I'm not proud of, I've had stuff done to me that I'm not proud of, I have things that I'm not proud of.
With that said, I've also thought about giving all mine away. Much like the song. It would be a burden but so liberating. Everyone has their secrets though. Should I keep mine?
There isn't much more I can elaborate on at the moment, so I decided to keep this one short. Have a great weekend guys, a post should be up Monday! =)
What if everyone or even just one person knew your secrets? All the things you've done that you've ever done out of shame, lust, vengeance, the things you aren't proud of, everything. Speaking for myself, I think whoever knew would be very, very shocked. I've done stuff that I'm not proud of, I've had stuff done to me that I'm not proud of, I have things that I'm not proud of.
With that said, I've also thought about giving all mine away. Much like the song. It would be a burden but so liberating. Everyone has their secrets though. Should I keep mine?
There isn't much more I can elaborate on at the moment, so I decided to keep this one short. Have a great weekend guys, a post should be up Monday! =)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Cameron Vs. "Love"
Hey boys and girls! Today is February 14, 2011 and I'm not wearing a shirt. I'm wearing a vest and that's because I don't want to wear a shirt, but I don't want to be shirtless. Does that make any sense whatsoever? Doesn't have to! Yaaaay. Taa-daa, we're done with that. To the topic:
I feel as though it is appropriate to talk about love on this day, and no not the whole "Love". Yeah, not that. What is love? I think love is something that is really, really confusing. I don't really think it's meant to be understood. A huge pet peeve of mine is when an adult tries to explain what love is. Like a parent for instance. Like 90% of the time, nowadays, since divorce rates are so high, you're getting these "lessons" about love from people that don't know what love is. If your parents knew what love was then they wouldn't be divorced, they would still be married. And hopefully that makes sense to you right there. It would be like if my father tried to explain to me that love is when you get butterflies in your stomach and blahblah. It's like, "you've been divorced... you're telling me that you've gone through this 'emotion' at least once, just to have it not be love in the long run?" You get where I'm going with this?
All right. I think love, like I said, is complicated and possibly different for everybody. I think love is something that is supposed to last forever - if that makes any sense. Love is supposed to be something that conquers all other things. True love for instance. So say, uhh, I don't even know how to put this in words. Love is kinda like God, in my opinion. You can't see it, but you hope it exists. You hope it's there. There's really just no way to explain love, you know? It's that feeling you get, in my opinion, where you just realize that everything is right in the world. LOVE IS THIS -> <3. No, but it's when everything is right and everything just works, but you don't really know why it works it just does. It's not lust. It's not where it's just, "man, I wanna see that person naked." There's a difference. Ugh - sort of like where someone is your best friend and you're allowed to be yourself around them. If that makes any sense.
There are some people that are just saying, "oh man, I totally love this chick." And you realize that they're not said person. Like when they're around their "significant other" they don't tell the same jokes, they don't act the same way, and I don't think that's love. I think that's an illusion. So basically you're in love with a figment of your own imagination. You're in love with something that doesn't really exist. They love who you act like when you're with them. I don't know, it's hard to explain.
I think true love is something that you know it when you find it, and it works. You can't explain why it works, you just can't. It just works. You just have to go with the flow. I also think that people are afraid to find love - if that makes sense. Either because they've been hurt so many times or they're just scared to get back out there to get hurt again. But the point is that you have to do that, and if you don't then you're just going to be lonely. And being lonely is just horrible.
So... I just don't know. It's hard to explain. And that's just kinda my two cents on what love is. You don't even have to take my word on it or agree with anything I say. When someone asks me, "have you ever been in love?" At the time I thought it was love, but clearly it's not because I'm not with that person anymore. I didn't overcome the hardships that we wen't through together, you know. That wasn't love, that was just lust. At the time I thought it was love, but no. I think you can love more than one person (NOT AT THE SAME TIME. One heart for one person. That's just how I feel) if that makes any sense. It's just such a touchy subject. Love is just a touchy subject and I don't understand it. At all. It's just one of those things that's like, "I hope I find it, I hope I find love."
Love is something that just works. It's just there, and everything is right, and you overcome the hardships, and you don't know why, and it's just there, and it just works, and it's just amazing. Just let it happen.
Let's take a quick breather from love. Sound good? Sorry I didn't post last week, I've just had a lot going on. Hope you're not bored yet. If you don't know what this blog is about, it's just a place where I'm serious with you all about various topics to keep you entertained and me sane. So continuing on the question of love:
I don't know what it is. I really don't. I'm going to try not to recap what I said before the break and hit on some new stuff, so bare with me.
Honestly, I think that a lot of people have no clue what love is. Especially coming from people who have "been in love" and are no longer with that person, but they try to tell you what love is.
In my mind, there are layers of love. Almost like an onion. A big ol' stinky onion. But you have your true love, your puppy love, all that stuff. What I consider "real, true love" is something that I don't know what it is. I don't even think our parents know what it is. Unless they've been together for like 40 years or they've been together their entire life. Maybe they know what it is. But it comes down to the fact that a majority of people in the world really have no clue what love is and then they try to tell you that, "love is when you get butterflies in your stomach!!!" What if that's not love? What if that's just puppy love or something like that? What if you get no feelings around them? But you're completely comfortable around them. What if it's not someone who gives you butterflies in your stomach, but you can live your life comfortably with them for the rest of your life? What if that's what love is? I only mean this because we really have no clue. It's just a really crazy thing. It bothers me too that adults will look at kids who are in love (basically puppy love) and they'll say something like, "you're not in love! You don't know what love is!" But the thing is, I've known people that have been dating since they were about 13 and have been together ever since. Maybe they did know what love was. Maybe we're the ones who were stupid and didn't know. There's just so many layers to it. It's definitely something hard to answer.
Hopefully this gave you a little insight. I hope you see what love is to me. And that I love you. Yes, let's touch. I'm putting my hand to my screen right now. See, I just ruined a really good post by being stupid.
I'm gonna go. I hope you guys have a really good week. And I promise I will make a post on Friday.
So what about love for you all? What do you think love is? Do you have any pet peeves about love? Have you ever been in love? Real love? Are you in love right now? How long have your parents been together?
I don't know. I just have a lot of questions for you guys cause I love talking to you guys. I love the comments.
I feel as though it is appropriate to talk about love on this day, and no not the whole "Love". Yeah, not that. What is love? I think love is something that is really, really confusing. I don't really think it's meant to be understood. A huge pet peeve of mine is when an adult tries to explain what love is. Like a parent for instance. Like 90% of the time, nowadays, since divorce rates are so high, you're getting these "lessons" about love from people that don't know what love is. If your parents knew what love was then they wouldn't be divorced, they would still be married. And hopefully that makes sense to you right there. It would be like if my father tried to explain to me that love is when you get butterflies in your stomach and blahblah. It's like, "you've been divorced... you're telling me that you've gone through this 'emotion' at least once, just to have it not be love in the long run?" You get where I'm going with this?
All right. I think love, like I said, is complicated and possibly different for everybody. I think love is something that is supposed to last forever - if that makes any sense. Love is supposed to be something that conquers all other things. True love for instance. So say, uhh, I don't even know how to put this in words. Love is kinda like God, in my opinion. You can't see it, but you hope it exists. You hope it's there. There's really just no way to explain love, you know? It's that feeling you get, in my opinion, where you just realize that everything is right in the world. LOVE IS THIS -> <3. No, but it's when everything is right and everything just works, but you don't really know why it works it just does. It's not lust. It's not where it's just, "man, I wanna see that person naked." There's a difference. Ugh - sort of like where someone is your best friend and you're allowed to be yourself around them. If that makes any sense.
There are some people that are just saying, "oh man, I totally love this chick." And you realize that they're not said person. Like when they're around their "significant other" they don't tell the same jokes, they don't act the same way, and I don't think that's love. I think that's an illusion. So basically you're in love with a figment of your own imagination. You're in love with something that doesn't really exist. They love who you act like when you're with them. I don't know, it's hard to explain.
I think true love is something that you know it when you find it, and it works. You can't explain why it works, you just can't. It just works. You just have to go with the flow. I also think that people are afraid to find love - if that makes sense. Either because they've been hurt so many times or they're just scared to get back out there to get hurt again. But the point is that you have to do that, and if you don't then you're just going to be lonely. And being lonely is just horrible.
So... I just don't know. It's hard to explain. And that's just kinda my two cents on what love is. You don't even have to take my word on it or agree with anything I say. When someone asks me, "have you ever been in love?" At the time I thought it was love, but clearly it's not because I'm not with that person anymore. I didn't overcome the hardships that we wen't through together, you know. That wasn't love, that was just lust. At the time I thought it was love, but no. I think you can love more than one person (NOT AT THE SAME TIME. One heart for one person. That's just how I feel) if that makes any sense. It's just such a touchy subject. Love is just a touchy subject and I don't understand it. At all. It's just one of those things that's like, "I hope I find it, I hope I find love."
Love is something that just works. It's just there, and everything is right, and you overcome the hardships, and you don't know why, and it's just there, and it just works, and it's just amazing. Just let it happen.
Let's take a quick breather from love. Sound good? Sorry I didn't post last week, I've just had a lot going on. Hope you're not bored yet. If you don't know what this blog is about, it's just a place where I'm serious with you all about various topics to keep you entertained and me sane. So continuing on the question of love:
I don't know what it is. I really don't. I'm going to try not to recap what I said before the break and hit on some new stuff, so bare with me.
Honestly, I think that a lot of people have no clue what love is. Especially coming from people who have "been in love" and are no longer with that person, but they try to tell you what love is.
In my mind, there are layers of love. Almost like an onion. A big ol' stinky onion. But you have your true love, your puppy love, all that stuff. What I consider "real, true love" is something that I don't know what it is. I don't even think our parents know what it is. Unless they've been together for like 40 years or they've been together their entire life. Maybe they know what it is. But it comes down to the fact that a majority of people in the world really have no clue what love is and then they try to tell you that, "love is when you get butterflies in your stomach!!!" What if that's not love? What if that's just puppy love or something like that? What if you get no feelings around them? But you're completely comfortable around them. What if it's not someone who gives you butterflies in your stomach, but you can live your life comfortably with them for the rest of your life? What if that's what love is? I only mean this because we really have no clue. It's just a really crazy thing. It bothers me too that adults will look at kids who are in love (basically puppy love) and they'll say something like, "you're not in love! You don't know what love is!" But the thing is, I've known people that have been dating since they were about 13 and have been together ever since. Maybe they did know what love was. Maybe we're the ones who were stupid and didn't know. There's just so many layers to it. It's definitely something hard to answer.
Hopefully this gave you a little insight. I hope you see what love is to me. And that I love you. Yes, let's touch. I'm putting my hand to my screen right now. See, I just ruined a really good post by being stupid.
I'm gonna go. I hope you guys have a really good week. And I promise I will make a post on Friday.
So what about love for you all? What do you think love is? Do you have any pet peeves about love? Have you ever been in love? Real love? Are you in love right now? How long have your parents been together?
I don't know. I just have a lot of questions for you guys cause I love talking to you guys. I love the comments.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Adventures Pt. 2
Since we were back in North Dakota with no means of personal transportation back home, the next obvious step was to secure transportation back to Indiana. Keep in mind this is the 29th. We narrowed down our choices to either taking Amtrak back or a series of buses.
Attempt 1: With our luck, there was an Amtrak leaving the next morning at 1AM with a stop in Chicago. We ordered ordered our tickets and were set to pick them up when we arrived at the station. This is where the blizzard decided to roll in. The train wasn't canceled that morning. So my traveling companion, the army lad we met, and myself decided to brave the storm. Well that's all fine and well... if we could get out of the drive way. What ended up happening is that we got to the end of the drive way, and with the sheer amount of snow we got stuck. Not just typical stuck, but more of we were sitting on the snow and the tires weren't even touching the ground stuck. So we shoveled the truck back to ground level and drove it back up the drive way. First attempt failed. We rescheduled our tickets for the following day.
Attempt 2: Having tickets ready for the following morning was more of an... inconvenience than anything. On the morning of the 30th, Amtrak calls us. The train for the morning of the 31st is canceled because of the blizzard. After a little bit of research, the trains wouldn't be back up until Saturday. When we go to reschedule for Saturday, it is full. The next available? Wednesday. The 5th. By this point I've also already missed a few days of work as well. Ultimately a fail. We gave up on the tram.
Attempt 3: The bus. Considering the interstate and local roads were closed except for emergency vehicles, we weren't getting out until Saturday at the earliest. Which ended up not happening. We left Sunday afternoon en route to Minneapolis. In a few words, this was the worst bus ride I have ever been on. Not because the cabin wasn't nice, it was. And not because some kid screaming, it was silence. But rather because of the fact that the driver thought it was a good idea to accelerate and decelerate, accelerate and decelerate the entire 4 hours. Now I typically wouldn't have minded except for the fact of the preceding events. We arrived in Minneapolis four miserable hours later. What did we learn here? There was a crack house about a block away, the police that were stationed there were douches, the "help desk" people were of no help, and the whole environment was just all together sketchy. After an hour layover in Minneapolis, we were on our way once more. Only this time, our destination was Chicago. The remainder of our trip was not bad at all. We arrived at Chicago at about nine in the morning, and in back home at about 1 in the evening. Only to have work the same day. Yaaaaay...
And now for the car...
Attempt 1: With our luck, there was an Amtrak leaving the next morning at 1AM with a stop in Chicago. We ordered ordered our tickets and were set to pick them up when we arrived at the station. This is where the blizzard decided to roll in. The train wasn't canceled that morning. So my traveling companion, the army lad we met, and myself decided to brave the storm. Well that's all fine and well... if we could get out of the drive way. What ended up happening is that we got to the end of the drive way, and with the sheer amount of snow we got stuck. Not just typical stuck, but more of we were sitting on the snow and the tires weren't even touching the ground stuck. So we shoveled the truck back to ground level and drove it back up the drive way. First attempt failed. We rescheduled our tickets for the following day.
Attempt 2: Having tickets ready for the following morning was more of an... inconvenience than anything. On the morning of the 30th, Amtrak calls us. The train for the morning of the 31st is canceled because of the blizzard. After a little bit of research, the trains wouldn't be back up until Saturday. When we go to reschedule for Saturday, it is full. The next available? Wednesday. The 5th. By this point I've also already missed a few days of work as well. Ultimately a fail. We gave up on the tram.
Attempt 3: The bus. Considering the interstate and local roads were closed except for emergency vehicles, we weren't getting out until Saturday at the earliest. Which ended up not happening. We left Sunday afternoon en route to Minneapolis. In a few words, this was the worst bus ride I have ever been on. Not because the cabin wasn't nice, it was. And not because some kid screaming, it was silence. But rather because of the fact that the driver thought it was a good idea to accelerate and decelerate, accelerate and decelerate the entire 4 hours. Now I typically wouldn't have minded except for the fact of the preceding events. We arrived in Minneapolis four miserable hours later. What did we learn here? There was a crack house about a block away, the police that were stationed there were douches, the "help desk" people were of no help, and the whole environment was just all together sketchy. After an hour layover in Minneapolis, we were on our way once more. Only this time, our destination was Chicago. The remainder of our trip was not bad at all. We arrived at Chicago at about nine in the morning, and in back home at about 1 in the evening. Only to have work the same day. Yaaaaay...
And now for the car...
Friday, February 4, 2011
I have some explaining to do (Schedule for me too)
Oh yeah, that rhymed by the way.
So, the reason I haven't really been posting lately has to do with the ridiculously busy schedule I've gotten ever since turning 18. I'm finding it harder and harder to find time to get some serious writing done. I've done a lot of thinking though, and I've decided on a Wednesday schedule for writing/posting. It's perfect spacing between Cameron's, and it's only once a week (for now...). That being said, expect a long one this Wednesday coming. That's all for now.
-Josh
So, the reason I haven't really been posting lately has to do with the ridiculously busy schedule I've gotten ever since turning 18. I'm finding it harder and harder to find time to get some serious writing done. I've done a lot of thinking though, and I've decided on a Wednesday schedule for writing/posting. It's perfect spacing between Cameron's, and it's only once a week (for now...). That being said, expect a long one this Wednesday coming. That's all for now.
-Josh
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Adventures (An Ongoing Series)
Back in December a friend and myself embarked on a journey to the great white north. North Dakota. Now, to understand why we went, you kind of need to know some background information:
One of my best friends from my childhood was on break from basic over prior to Christmas through a week after. I decided that it would be a good idea to go visit him. The next time he will be back is in the summer of this year (as far as I know). And so began the adventure north.
One of my best friends from my childhood was on break from basic over prior to Christmas through a week after. I decided that it would be a good idea to go visit him. The next time he will be back is in the summer of this year (as far as I know). And so began the adventure north.
We left from central Indiana heading towards Illinois, and this wasn't at all a problem. The problems occurred as we headed farther North.
As soon as we entered Iowa there was a fog. Not just a small patch, but the entire time we were going through there was fog. The distance visible was roughly two feet from the front of the car, so it wasn't exactly the safest adventure thus far.
We entered Minnesota and the fog immediately lifted. The drive was looking up. Other than the fact that the state was cold, there is nothing worth mentioning. It was amazing, though. I feel you should know that.
Early in the morning on the 27th, we arrived at our destination at West Fargo, North Dakota. The events that transpired there are of no importance. The main thing, if anything, to gather from this is the travel parts. The nightmare aspects of this adventure - traveling. Total money spent going up was
We had originally planned on being there from the 27th through the 30th. That's not how it went down. On the 28th we got news that a blizzard was rolling across North Dakota, Minnesota, and part of Montana at around 10 PM on the 29th. So we planned ahead and intended to leave on the 29th around 6PM so that we had plenty of time to beat the storm. We did just that by leaving at that time.
We only made it two hours on the interstate when we hit a patch of black ice in Minnesota which quickly ended up in the median of the interstate... in two feet of snow. A police officer had called a wrecker and had us pulled out ($90). The guy who pulled us out of the median told us that the remaining snow would just fall out as I drove, so I thought nothing of it and we continued. About 10 to 15 minutes down the road, my car had overheated. No warnings - just stalled, switched to neutral, no power steering, no power brakes, nothing. Moments later the same cop that had us pulled out showed up behind us. He pushed us from the median to the outside of the interstate and left moments later. Little did I know that there was snow caked in my radiator. We then called the same wrecker and had him pull us back to his shop for the car to be looked at ($120). After trial and error it was determined that the engine either had a cracked block or gasket estimated, at the time, was to be a minimum of $2k.
Enough about the car for now. After the assessment of the damage we were taken to a truck stop to find out what we need to do, get food, and just gather our thoughts. We arrived at the stop at about 9PM central. While we were there, we had about 20 cups of coffee and made about 40 calls around seeing what we could, who we could stay with, lodging, and things of the like. After about four hours of being at the truck stop, we were introduced to a trucker who was heading to Fargo and we were invited to go with him. Things were looking up, but there was a catch. He wasn't leaving until 7 the next morning. We had 6 hours to kill. For a while we had passed time doing crosswords which filled about a whole two hours of time. Food seemed like the next logical situation. The boredom set in and endless texts began, and the migration from one end of the lodge to the other began. We made our way to the opposite side of the lodge to find a TV and a slew of "waiting room" chairs. My companion decided to sleep, so I took to a silent vigil over our belongings. For three hours I sat watching Fox News. Three. Hours. Dreadful. Down right dreadful. Time dragged on and our ride with our new acquaintance was all to far.
Seven couldn't have gotten there sooner, but when it did get there it was the most relieving feeling. We boarded the big-rig and began our return to Fargo. My friend had taken to shotgun and I to the cabin in the back. It was finally my turn to sleep. For an hour I slept before we made our next stop at yet another lodge. There, we met another trucker who was not heading the same direction as us, but his generosity was astounding. He knew us for all of 15 minutes and outright paid for our meals. At this point we found out that the blizzard had begun its voyage across Fargo. Our driver was not willing to get stuck up in Fargo - understandable. Luckily for us, he knew of two gentlemen heading the same direction as we were. We were on our way again.
I slept for another hour and when I awoke we were in Fargo. Back to square one minus a car.
Another installment will be posted on Friday. Until then, enjoy the week!
-Cam
Another installment will be posted on Friday. Until then, enjoy the week!
-Cam
Friday, January 21, 2011
Cameron Vs. Family
Before we even start, let's get a collective thought on what I mean by relationship. When I refer to relationship in this post, I'm talking intimate relationship. Ya know, like a girlfriend.
I've never been any good at introductions, so I may as well just tell you how I got this topic. With the introduction of the new author on the blog, I've found a new motivation. With that said, this blog stems from Josh's post on Wednesday. If you don't already know, Josh is the new guy on the stranger, and if you haven't already read his post then you should really take a moment, read it, then come back. Really. I'll wait. All finished? Okay. If you didn't read it, shame on you. In a simple way, he has a fear of raising a child in the coming future based on how kids today act. And it's a pretty reasonable fear, but this post isn't about him or his phobia. Instead, mine precedes the whole off spring thing. I'll be working backwards, do try and keep up.
The Family Thing:
Growing up, I never really had the best familial ties. They were there, just never really like the "TV family" or "nuclear family" or what ever you want to call it. During my teenage years, I cut ties with my father and his side of the family for - a lack of better word - my own mental health. That cut in itself eliminates half of the "family." Moving to my mom's side; yes I still talk to them, but there always seems to be something awry. I can't really put my figure on it, but something is amiss. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've always had the thought of the big family get-togethers, in the back of my mind, as some kind of perfect.
The Kid Thing:
Josh basically sums it up. If I were to raise a kid with my experiences of people, I would be scared out of my mind. I don't really have any other way to expand on what he had said other than to say that I have the same fear - to an extent. How do I explain to my kid where the family is?
The Marriage Thing:
Probably my biggest and most ironic fear. You see, I have this fear of dieing alone. At the same time, I fear marriage for one reason. Divorce. With how high divorce rates are, I fear thinking that I've found the right one just to get into daily arguments leading to shouting matches. It disheartens me. Do I let this stop me? No because of the whole preluding, "not wanting to die alone." Does it hinder? Among other things, yes it does. Which brings me to my next topic.
The Relationship Thing:
Now, I've never claimed to have the best relationships. In fact, I feel as though I hold some notoriety for bad relationships. I can honestly say that, save one, I haven't had a genuine, loving relationship with any girl I've been with. It's just been train wreck after train wreck. In this order, have been my past relationships first to last: she used me to get with another guy, cheated on me, the good one, a harlot, and the last had been married. Yes, you read that correctly. Stories to tell for another time. As you can probably assume, I'm a vegetable medley of distrust and doubt. Still working on it, and I feel as though things could shape up with time.
The Single Thing:
Yes, it is nice being single. You can see it in one of two ways: bad or good. Money you earned if spent on you, more freedom than if you were seeing someone, and of course a quiet phone. But there's also the other side of this. The money you earn can't make you happy. The person you share it with and spend it on can. The freedom is negligible based on the principle that you are with someone. Be faithful.. And the phone? There's someone who cares for you, they like talking to you. Could be a problem.
What you have just read is the paradoxical nature of my thinking. I want to be with someone, but I don't want to be unhappy were it to end. So let me ask you this: What would you do or what have you done or what would you suggest? And don't give the whole, "you're over-thinking" ploy. Let's get some real answers.
-Cam
I've never been any good at introductions, so I may as well just tell you how I got this topic. With the introduction of the new author on the blog, I've found a new motivation. With that said, this blog stems from Josh's post on Wednesday. If you don't already know, Josh is the new guy on the stranger, and if you haven't already read his post then you should really take a moment, read it, then come back. Really. I'll wait. All finished? Okay. If you didn't read it, shame on you. In a simple way, he has a fear of raising a child in the coming future based on how kids today act. And it's a pretty reasonable fear, but this post isn't about him or his phobia. Instead, mine precedes the whole off spring thing. I'll be working backwards, do try and keep up.
The Family Thing:
Growing up, I never really had the best familial ties. They were there, just never really like the "TV family" or "nuclear family" or what ever you want to call it. During my teenage years, I cut ties with my father and his side of the family for - a lack of better word - my own mental health. That cut in itself eliminates half of the "family." Moving to my mom's side; yes I still talk to them, but there always seems to be something awry. I can't really put my figure on it, but something is amiss. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've always had the thought of the big family get-togethers, in the back of my mind, as some kind of perfect.
The Kid Thing:
Josh basically sums it up. If I were to raise a kid with my experiences of people, I would be scared out of my mind. I don't really have any other way to expand on what he had said other than to say that I have the same fear - to an extent. How do I explain to my kid where the family is?
The Marriage Thing:
Probably my biggest and most ironic fear. You see, I have this fear of dieing alone. At the same time, I fear marriage for one reason. Divorce. With how high divorce rates are, I fear thinking that I've found the right one just to get into daily arguments leading to shouting matches. It disheartens me. Do I let this stop me? No because of the whole preluding, "not wanting to die alone." Does it hinder? Among other things, yes it does. Which brings me to my next topic.
The Relationship Thing:
Now, I've never claimed to have the best relationships. In fact, I feel as though I hold some notoriety for bad relationships. I can honestly say that, save one, I haven't had a genuine, loving relationship with any girl I've been with. It's just been train wreck after train wreck. In this order, have been my past relationships first to last: she used me to get with another guy, cheated on me, the good one, a harlot, and the last had been married. Yes, you read that correctly. Stories to tell for another time. As you can probably assume, I'm a vegetable medley of distrust and doubt. Still working on it, and I feel as though things could shape up with time.
The Single Thing:
Yes, it is nice being single. You can see it in one of two ways: bad or good. Money you earned if spent on you, more freedom than if you were seeing someone, and of course a quiet phone. But there's also the other side of this. The money you earn can't make you happy. The person you share it with and spend it on can. The freedom is negligible based on the principle that you are with someone. Be faithful.. And the phone? There's someone who cares for you, they like talking to you. Could be a problem.
What you have just read is the paradoxical nature of my thinking. I want to be with someone, but I don't want to be unhappy were it to end. So let me ask you this: What would you do or what have you done or what would you suggest? And don't give the whole, "you're over-thinking" ploy. Let's get some real answers.
-Cam
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